Well look at who is juggling potential job offers now?! I knew this would happen; after I have given myself an ulcer and taken two trips to the emergency room for panic attacks, the jobs they are a flowin'! I have to be careful though, in writing this, heaven only knows just by writing these words, the job Gods will strike me down with an "A Ha!!!! How dare you write something so self-assured when nothing has been signed yet?!!!"
So i humble myself. Remind myself that nothing is in stone yet so just chill the F out. Let me take a few deep breaths. Ouch, that hurts a little when I do that--like, right when I inhale there is a jabbing sensation in my ribcage. Could it be possible that some of us weren't meant to breathe deeply? The entire breathing phenomenon has really sort of gotten to me as of late. Very much like the candle phenom that's been sweeping the nation since 1990. You hear it every day, "Just breathe". Doesn't Kaiser have an ad promoting the all allusive breath? Last weekend when I landed in the emergency room this was all I heard, "Sweetheart, you're not breathing, I need you to be taking some big, deep breaths." I retorted with a smartass, "If my oxygen saturation is 100% doesn't that mean I am, indeed breathing?" She huffed out of the room, extremely pissy--her in her obnoxious garanimal nurses outfit. Excuse me, how am I supposed to take you seriously when you come in here dressed like you work at Chuck E. Cheese? I get it if you work in pediatrics, but come on! It takes everything in me NOT to ask her where I might find a pair of bone-white Birkenstocks and a Dora one-piece. Instead I
Breathe.
So did you take one of these job offers, Maggie?
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